Procrastinations and Excuses

Fiction Can be Fun! Real Life Can Be Funnier.

Ten Reasons I’m Not Writing Right Now
Supported by Instagram Evidence

1.   The dog is scratching at the door to go out, and I’m the only one here with  thumbs to make it happen.

2.    The cat has stolen my pen, or chewed through the cord of my laptop. (Proof.)

3.   The kids are here to let the dog out, but they're also begging for a snack, asking to play a game with me, and wanting to know where they last put the charger for their tablet – or the actual tablet. (How do I know this?! I do not know this.) This happens right next to my ‘office’ – the dining room table.

4.   The dog is scratching to come back in. (And then, within seconds, to go back out. Yes, immediately.) But who can be mad at this face?!

 5.    It’s possible it’s Saturday morning, and I am still sleeping. (Read:
        Yesterday was Friday, a/k/a Too Much Tanqueray)

6.   The Sonos won’t connect, because sometimes the Internet Gods in my house hate me. (Music a must for this girl to write. Silence can be disrupting.)

7.   I’ve fallen into time-sucking twilight zones. Facebook. Instagram. Pinterest. Real estate listings. Another author’s book that’s too good to put down. Yet another episode of Fixer Upper (because that Chip is so damn funny). 

8.   I’m traveling to research an upcoming release. (Or to see someone in my extended family get married. Those parties are freaking nuts. Justified FOMO if you’re the only one not going.)

9.   The internet is still not working = No answers available to my research question on Google. Since my encyclopedias are hiding in some dark corner of my parents’ basement, Happy Hour is an acceptable alternative. If before noon, more COFFEE. (Side Bar: Angered Internet Gods again. Remember to beg ‘IT’ for help, and put out a cold beer for said ‘IT’ as payment.)

10. See numbers one and four. Seriously. This never ends.

Bonus Points if you know the name of the movie "Fiction Can Be Fun!" is quoted from.

Don't bother with the encyclopedia. The movie didn't exist then.